Link's Diary
by Insanegoth
Summary: This is what I believe Link is thinking during Ocarina of Time....but than again I'm a sick twisted individual....
1. days one to eleven

IG: Okay so I was playing Ocarina of time for I don't know the millionth time and this little thing came to me

Ry: With a little help from me we give you the secret diary of Link while on the quest in The Ocarina of Time

Link: IG shoves him and motions with her hand This is the one and only disclaimer IG owns nothing that is anyone else's and there is a language warning and we are rating it pg-13 just in case.

Ry: Good let the insanity continue

Day1

Nasty dream about ugly dude on horse woke up very disturbed and attempted to go back to sleep but dumbass Fairy came in bugging me right when dream was getting good cannot believe need to save a tree soooooo important…

Day2

Had to crawl through insanely small tunnel to get sword…well more like knife but whatever floats your boat. Tried once again to get in to save tree but ended up having to find money for a shield…if they want me to be a hero and save crap they should supply me with all tools as am getting very sick of finding them for myself

Day3

Finally inside tree and it's covered in spider webs GROSS cannot stand spiders or plants as both seem to be attacking me am seriously reconsidering whole Hero shtick

Day4

Still in big tree still dealing with killer spiders and plants…but got to play with fire which is a big plus

Day5

Found out what was wrong with tree a Giant one eyed spider dealie made its nest inside it. Killed giant Spider because it got web crap on my new tunic….Stupid spiders…

Day6

Came out from killing giant spider and the thanks I GET…Tree dies and I get blamed by the little people…its official life sucks

Day7

Leaving annoying forest people because have no strong urge to be a dwarf all my life…met by green haired girl on way out she must have been smoking some of that weird fungus cause she thought she knew me and gave me some kind of flutey dealie that makes me look gay when I rock back and forth playing it…oh well

Day8

Ran and rolled to castle place meeting red haired bossy girl…once again am to play the hero WHY ME? Also obtained strange egg from girl…wonder if it is edible????

Day9

Egg hatched early this morning scaring the hell out of me and annoying me to all hell…apparently egg not edible damn…

Day10

Snuck into castle guards must be deaf blind and dumb especially with this damn chicken crowing every two seconds…wait do chickens crow I thought that was Roosters??? Anyways yes guards must be mentally challenged as was so easy to sneak past them

Day11

Camped in castle right in front of guards and was not thrown out…made way further in and found weird ugly girl looking through window…She spotted me and went on about a lot of crap I paid no attention to and apparently in randomly nodding I agreed to go on another quest DAMN MY LUCK…After this I am so out of the hero business…


	2. days twelve to twentytwo

IG: Well as usual this seems to be the most popular of my writing, it figures the stuff I work hard on gets passed over and the crap I scribble down while playing a video game gets notices….Whatever don't mind the bitter author behind the green curtain enjoy.

Day12

Got letter from ugly girl and walked to village at base of mountain guard said something about a mask I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to get this quest over with asap but fairy keeps bugging me about green haired girl so it looks like I have to go all the way back to the forest…Why me? Stupid fairy

Day13

Stopped at ranch to get a drink of milk and saw bossy girl and brain dead father…girl had weird horse that didn't like me until I played a song…this world gets stupider by the second why can't I live some place normal?

Day14

I repeat once more WHY ME? Told annoying Owl to piss off …wish I hadn't ended up getting lost in woods…was it a left or right at the stump?

Day15

Life blows… still lost fairy has conveniently disappeared…

Day16

Still lost being a hero way over rated had to eat a bug…

Day17

Finally found green haired girl you'd think everyone would flock to the hero instead of the hero going to them…taught me a song oh boy get to play the flute…seriously thinking this flute thing doubles as bong cause smoke cloud around girl smelled strongly of weed…

Day18

Lost again cause Owl still mad at harsh words…woods are worst place ever invented

Day19

Found way out of woods seriously think I inhaled too much of that girls smoke cloud cause swear I saw a freaky monkey dude…

Day20

Made it back to village and stumbled into graveyard…played pipe/flute and grave stone blew up that ruled!

Day21

Went into hole that grave stone covered found royal grave… freaky dried corpses could be a problem

Day22

Made it out of grave and got another song…but this one actually does something useful!….hehehehehehehehe Sun goes up Sun goes down…. Sun goes up Sun goes down…. Sun goes up Sun goes down…. Sun goes up Sun goes down…. Sun goes up Sun goes down…. Sun goes up Sun goes down…. Sun goes up Sun goes down….


	3. days twentythree to thirtythree

IG: Sorry I know everything is late I'm really sick right now and life has been hell, I hate the holidays except when I get time off of everything and just sit down and write….good for you too. Anyways here ya go I'll try to post soon

Day23

I know its like infinitely past day 23 because of how many times I played with the sun song but do I care …no….

Day24

Walked up mountain trail to rock city of weird hedgehog/armadillo things they seem to be seriously sleep deprived…

Day25

Played forest girls song and made chief hedgeadillo go crazy and he only stopped when I agreed to go on another quest…on the plus side can now pick flowers that blow things up…hmmmmmmmmmmmm blowing things up and playing with fire maybe hero thing not so bad

Day26

I was wrong hero thing definitely bad… inside stinky old cavern with robots that shoot lasers at me (No I do not know why robots are in old cavern but whatever) and dinosaur rejects that breathe fire at me…wishing for killer plants and spiders back right about now

Day27

Oh boy this gets better and better…today I got hit by fire covered bats and smashed by statue that apparently comes to life…but I also got to start big explosion that brought down stairs…blowing stuff up rules

Day28

Seriously wondering why fairy is here at all helps very little…got attacked by wimpy lizards with knifes and got bag to carry own bombs now can blow stuff up whenever I feel the need….

Day29

Battled with over sized dinosaur it was extremely easy and I got to use my new bombs Hero deal still annoying though, my tunic got singed and sweaty… lava caverns suck

Day30

Narrowly escaped hedgeadillo people's crushing hugs, by climbing up mountain

Day31

Met sluty looking lady who claimed to be a fairy and gave me magic….sword now extremely hard and lights up and glows while vibrating…can't wait to try it on next thing that comes along…

Day32

Owl back and apparently not still pissed… at first… cause gave me ride down mountain…but than left me on high roof…maybe he's still a little sore

Day33

Made my way up river to kingdom of fish people YUCK!!!....Make that pale fin headed people…


End file.
